I'm weird. I'm not sure when I realized that or if I just always knew to hide the weird parts of myself, the parts that seemed different than other people's parts.
But then when I met someone for the first time who 'got me' the whole world flipped upside down. You mean I'm OK? You mean someone likes me like this and I don't have to hide? It's an amazing feeling to have someone see YOU and really like YOU. It's pure JOY!
We all know that feeling when we are just being tolerated versus when we are really accepted and celebrated. It doesn't necessarily happen very often for most of us. When you do find those people...or person, it may only be one in a lifetime, savor it, you are lucky!
My husband often reminds me of his grandfather telling him that he may only find one person in life that will be his best friend, that he can trust completely, that will understand him, put up with him and even celebrate him. And one is enough.
He said if you are really lucky, it's the one you marry and stick with for life. But not everyone gets that one person for life, some never get it, some get it early in life and others late in life. Some only get it for a little while.
Regardless of whether you have it, had it or are looking for it, this I know: Tribes change as we change. Our beliefs change, our perspectives change, our circumstances and situations change.
Sometimes our tribes need to change too. So don't be afraid to keep looking when you outgrow one. You can appreciate the tribes you've had while finding one that may fit a bit better. You can also have simultaneous tribes, a book club, a dinner group, a church family, an artists group, a Facebook group, whatever floats your boat. There is probably someone out there looking for a tribe, too...be open to it!
One of the best essays I've ever read about tribes and the effects they have on us is one about tribal shame by the author, Elizabeth Gilbert BEWARE OF TRIBAL SHAME, it's a long read but well worth it. It helps to understand how tribes work to find the most joy within them or without them as the case may be. May the tribe (of your choosing) be with you!
