Joie de Vivre

joie de vivre: joy of life

After the Paris terrorist attacks recently a friend of mine posted on her Facebook page underneath a picture of her and her husband enjoying a good dinner:

"If we stop living, they win. Viva la France!"

I was taken back at first but then I thought about it and loved the sentiment.  It is heartbreaking to bear witness to or be touched by so many horrible things in the world, but she's right, we can't let those that want to hurt us or the random natural disasters determine our joy.  We only have this one life and we're all in it together.  Easier said then done but a battle worthy of our efforts. 

It's looking for the rainbow after the rain, making lemonade out of lemons, turning a frown upside down. Old cliche's that still inspire us to look for the light in the darkness. 

I'm all about feeling our emotions, expressing the pain and giving grief its rightful space.  We need to work through the messy stuff, and yes, that can take a long time, even months...or years...or an entire lifetime for some of the most difficult situations.  
Life is full of tragedy, sorrow and injustice...but even in the mist of it, there is magic to be found in the mess.  Laughter with a good friend that listens to your deepest thoughts, feeling the sun on your skin, the taste of delicious food, relaxing in a hot bath, holding a new born child, a loved one that sticks with you through it all.  There are so many magical moments that exist despite the circumstances we find ourselves in. This is the meaning of joie de vivre, or the joy of life.  Sometimes it's harder to look at things as joyful when we are in so much pain but again, it's worth the effort, sometimes that may be all there is when things are at their worst...stolen moments of joy.

Just in case you need help, I love the WikiHow links, yes, they even have a HOW TO for this!

How to Capture Joie de Vivre

The Joy of Traveling Alone

Now that I'm older and have no kids in tow I have more opportunity to travel, Yes, it is often to visit my kids but still, it counts.  I have come to really enjoy traveling by myself since often my hubby can't come because of work.

As I sit today at the airport en route from the west coast to the east coast to visit loved ones I'm contemplating the joys of a day spent flying around by myself:




1.  Time to read on my phone, magazines, regular books...they are all with me.

2.  Conversation with strangers sitting next to me, I seriously know this thirty year old girls whole life after 3 hours of talking on the plane and I don't even know her name.

3.  Time to blog (made my weekly submission!).

4.  People watching, I love imaging what their lives are like.  People watching is a great way to come up with a fictional story.



5.  Eating at the airport, the big ones have so many choices and always chocolate shops.  Just had a yummy blue cheese/cranberry/walnut salad.

6.  The thrill of going up and down in a plane, does that ever get old?

7.  I feel free, I'm no longer in the box of my life, no one knows me but me!

8. Walking through the airport with your headphones on and your favorite music...if you haven't tried it, you must.  It feels surreal, like you're the character in a movie and ANYTHING can happen!

9.  All worries are out the window because I'm suspended in this space that doesn't exit in my life or anyone else's. I'm just traveling.

10. Having my backpack of everything important to me, food, water, reading material, phone, camera, makeup, computer, paper, pens, glasses, money, ID,  power plugs, jacket, and clean underwear, I got it all and I'm ready for anything!

I've actually traveled alone for a weekend to the beach and a week to a Writer's Retreat, both after I divorced.  It felt scary and exhilarating at the same time.  I felt so grown up!  It's not scary anymore. I think I could do a whole trip alone almost anywhere if I had to...if no one was available or I just needed space just for me.  Especially with all the iPhone tour apps, you can just put on your phone and walk through the city and get an incredible history lesson.  Of course, there is a lot of magic in having someone special to share it all with.

The world is a fascinating place...I look forward to seeing more of it!

.

Joy of Pearls

I love pearls, not only for their beautiful appearance but also for the way they are created in nature. Pearls provide a beautiful metaphor to life and relationships.


Pearls are created inside of an oyster over a long period of time. They begin with an irritation, a piece of grit that has made its way inside the little muscle, a foreign substance such as a piece of sand or coral. Substances which by themselves are beautiful but in the environment of the oyster, they create irritation.


















In defense, the oyster covers that irritant with a secretion called nacre, or more commonly known as mother-of-pearl, which begins the formation of a pearl.  It's interesting to consider this secretion as the mother since we think of mothers as guides and caretakers for the most vulnerable.  Isn't that exactly what this secretion is doing, nurturing the little pearl into existence?







This is the reason I chose a pearl as the gem in my wedding band, it reminds me of who we are and can be to each other, as well as the goal we are trying to create through our time together.

As part of our wedding vows we used the story of the pearl as a metaphor for the union we were creating at marriage...the beginning of something that would hopefully be even more beautiful after a lifetime together while acknowledging we would be the irritants within that union as well as the source to nurture it into something beautiful.

We both had been in long term marriages before, we were well aware of our own weaknesses and the challenges involved in keeping a marriage going.  And to top it off we were bringing a heck of a lot of baggage from our previous lives.  We weren't just throwing in two irritants but two huge suitcases being dumped in all at once.  Our little pearl needed a whole lot of nurturing from each of us as well as some therapy along the way.


Interestingly, we don't even see the pearl without patience while it is being created, formed and discovered.  Someone needs to take the time to look for it, find it, dig it out, polish it.   Every pearl is different and there is beauty in their uniqueness...they are as individual as we are. There are a few levels of metaphor in the discovery process itself, I'll leave you to think about that.


Another thing shared as part of our marriage vows was a poem an old friend gave to me.  Her husband was a cowboy poet that performed around the area we lived.  He had a deep cowboy voice and dressed the part.  He was a cattle rancher, a true cowboy.  He didn't write the poem, it was just an anonymous poem he found somewhere that touched him deeply and did me as well.  It is the essence of a relationship, a pearl being formed in a safe environment to flourish into its most authentic and natural beauty.

When I see the pearl on my finger, this is what I'm reminded of and have to question:  Am I creating the environment for my husband to truly come as he is?  This is the place I want to live and be welcomed in, so it must be the place I welcome him.

Come As You Are

So you're feeling weary and ragged in your soul

You're feelin' used up, a little less than whole

And you think that no one sees beyond your scars

But when it comes to love, you come as you are

Well it don't take looks and it don't take brains

It don't take money and it sure don't take fame

All you really need is a willin' heart

When it comes to love, you come as you are

Love takes the weak

And crowns it king

It takes what's broken down

And gives it wings

There's no judge and jury

So you can drop your guard

When it comes to love

You come as you are

Now we can't change mistakes of the past

But sweet forgiveness waits for those who ask

So take my hand, it's a place to start

When it comes to love, you come as you are

~Anonymous~

The Joy of Catalina Island

My hubby and I spent our honeymoon on Catalina Island in April 2011.  At the time it was just a cheap man's Hawaii, close enough for a weekend trip and $79 per night special at the Zane Grey Pueblo couldn't be beat.  The ferry was both fun and cheap compared to airfare anywhere else.  I didn't know much about the island at the time.

I decided to read about the author Zane Grey and his vacation home on the Island since we were staying there, the history of the pueblo and my love for books and writing called to me.  Others would have been bothered by the lack of luxury but I loved the authenticity, the seclusion on the hill, incredible view and zero electronics of any kind. Today the Zane Grey is closed for renovations, I hope they keep its authenticity, it is definitely a historical landmark.  It's also right next to the iconic and charming Chime Towers, another historical landmark, delighting the residence with it's bell sounds to this day.

I had visited the island as a teenager, camping with my family but had never stayed in Avalon so was very excited for the new adventure.  It was on that first stay in Avalon 5 years ago that I decided I wanted to celebrate our anniversary there every year.  I was in love.  Not only with my new husband but with the enchanting island and couldn't imagine anything more fun then celebrating these two loves every year.

We committed to each other and the island...at first we thought we'd always stay at the Zane Grey but after two years there we decided we'd try a new place on the island each year to get a varied experience, a decision we've really enjoyed and look forward to in the future.

The history on the island is extensive and intriguing, the multi-colored tiles, green pier and railings, clear water and harbor of boats, colorful vintage homes, and Spanish architecture are all aesthetically delightful.  Of course, the quaint little shops and many restaurants are just a plus.

The fact that you don't have a car (there are a some on the island for a few that live there) because the city is so small and they want to limit vehicles is another unique characteristic.  You can rent a golf cart and in less then two hours tour the entire city of Avalon, this intimacy with an island doesn't exist in very many places...especially affordable ones. Most of the island is a natural land conservancy (thank you Mr. Wrigley!) that you need a permit to hike or tour on jeeps.










The island's history ranges from William Wrigley, Jr. of Wrigley's gum fame and his Chicago Cubs baseball team (and an incredible home on the hill he built for his wife Ada in the 1920's where you can tour when you make a lunch reservation) to Hollywood movies and a Casino that is not a place to gamble at all...it gets its name from the Italians where casino means a gathering place, and a grand one it is!  Huge galas, entertainers, movie stars...this island has seen the best of them.

The movie theater on the main floor and the huge ballroom on the top floor are definitely worth the visit to see, the architecture is amazing.

Then in 1941 World War II turned Catalina Island into a Federal Military Zone, instead of parties and movies, it was all about training spies and other military personnel. Hotels became barracks and the marina, yacht club and spring training ballpark transformed into simulated war zones.  Pretty crazy history, huh?



And don't forget about the unique wildlife and botanical garden, a history all their own.



It may be boring or lack the luxury of other grand destinations but to me it is an enchanting getaway that carries with it a colorful history much like the tapestry of a life.  What better way to celebrate the colorful history and tapestry of a marriage over the years?

A new museum will open this year about the history on the island, not early enough for us to visit on this trip, but I look forward to visiting next year and learning just a little more about this enchanting place that has become our annual celebration of love and romance (and maybe a few battles too)...I couldn't have picked a better spot for it!

I even bought myself a little anniversary necklace to remember The Joy of Catalina Island:

Year 1 and 2: Zane Grey Pueblo
Year 3: Catlina Canyon Resort & Spa
Year 4: Hotel Catalina
Year 5:  Pavilion Hotel